“The beginning of strife is like letting out water,
so quit before the quarrel breaks out.”
– Proverbs 17:14
When we begin a conflict, we start something that’s fundamentally out of our control. We may believe we’re doing something good or necessary. We may feel temporary relief because we “got that off our chest” after unloading on someone in a most un-Christlike fashion. Nonetheless, what we’ve really done is release primal forces within ourselves and everyone involved that will be extraordinarily difficult to get back under control.
What may begin with a single word, conversation, text, email, or letter can quickly escalate to all-out war. The water of conflict flows out as it wills rather than as we will. There becomes an overwhelming, terrible inevitability to the flow that requires enormous prayer and effort to get back under control.
The message of Proverbs is simple – if you’re wise, you’ll quit BEFORE you release that conflict. It isn’t worth it! Rather than dump your heart on others in a hurtful and human way that releases the flood of strife, prayerfully consider everything Scripture teaches about self-examination, self-preparation, and humble, Christ-honoring confrontation of sin in others. Get the log out of your own eye first – carefully and intentionally. Commit to glorify God in how you talk to others, no matter what that looks like. Seek good and appropriate times to speak privately with others either alone or with witnesses they’ll trust to help them address the source of conflict. Pray without ceasing for a peaceful resolution.