“Faithful are the wounds of a friend;
profuse are the kisses of an enemy.”
– Proverbs 27:6
We’ve reached a point in our cultural moment in which absolute agreement and enthusiastic endorsement of everything we say or do has become the only defining mark of friendship. Anyone who agrees with and applauds us is a true friend. Anyone who disagrees with or corrects us in the slightest detail obviously hates us, fears us, and must be immediately shunned as an evil enemy. This perspective has become pervasive throughout every political and cultural tribe in this country and it’s at the root of all the anger and division that’s tearing our society apart.
This perspective is also foolish and unbiblical! So, if you’re a Christian, stop thinking like that! Just because someone disagrees with you in some way doesn’t mean they’re automatically the enemy. Just because someone routinely “likes” and “shares” us doesn’t mean they’re the kind of friend we should be cultivating. The Bible tells us that our friends and relationships should be like iron sharpening iron. Such sharpening doesn’t happen through continual praise and agreement (that just makes us softer and duller). Sharpening comes through pushing back on flawed or shallow thinking. Sharpening comes through confronting and rebuking sinful or foolish behavior. Such correction isn’t necessarily the mark of an enemy, but could be the indicator of a true friend who wants what’s truly best for us.
It’s time to grow into maturity! Not everyone who cheers you on is your friend. Not everyone who hurts your feelings is your enemy. Is that person pointing you toward Christ? Is that person pointing you toward greater personal holiness? Is that person applying Scripture to your blind spots? If so, they certainly sound more like a friend than an enemy, no matter how much your pride was wounded!